yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
