My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
