This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
MIDGETS
????
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
