that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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