it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
