This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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