BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
