Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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