So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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