ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize