he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
