ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
