I like to think it a success when the cops are called
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
