me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
