I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
