she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
