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White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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