I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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