dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
