I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
