Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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