Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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