Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
