Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize