Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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