Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
