Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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