So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
