Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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