Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
