I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
handjob tips. give me some.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
