you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I need moral support for this bender
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
