I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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