Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
