her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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