I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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