i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
