she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
