I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
