I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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