the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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