I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize