I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
