dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
