So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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