i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
