Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just found a bag of teeth...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
