VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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