No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
