im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
