I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
