After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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