Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
