I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
