I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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