i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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