You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
