The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
