it wasn't lemon gatorade
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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