Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
