I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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