Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize