Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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