IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
