in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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