I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
