So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize