so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
