As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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