i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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