We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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