My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
