I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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