It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
