we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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