I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My feet surprised me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
